The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
