Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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