Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
