and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
