So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
