actually, I'm a sock model
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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