In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
