whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize