Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
