and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
