Sponge bath it is.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
