I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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