Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
