Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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