How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
