Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
did i walk over a car last night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
