i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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