just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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