shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
