Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
