you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
