So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
