Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
