just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
