You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
