just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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