so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
