I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
