and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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