Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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