Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
