discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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