I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
