Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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