I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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