my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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