haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
