piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
