I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
