He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
