It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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