I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
They are going to name an STD after you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
