So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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