Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
