I have demons in me.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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