Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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