it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
