I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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