Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
