Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
