If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
