Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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